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Getting back on track August 25, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.
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Journal Entry for Aug 25, 2014

Today’s lead story is my pulling my act together again.  I’ve started keeping things neat and following my to-do list.  This has caused my moods to jump back to the top.  Getting enough sleep is always helpful. I got about 7 hours last night but the Sleep Cycle app says it was very poor quality.  Hmmph.  I still feel sharper today than I have in the last week or so.

Sent a reply to Camilla’s letter from the psych ward.  I referred her to NAMI.  I hope it helps.

~ Steve

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Beating 55 minutes August 24, 2014

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Journal Entry for Aug 24, 2014

Lead Story: For the second consecutive day, Steve ran more than 5 kilometers.  In addition to the 10k Steve ran yesterday, he added a much faster 8k today, this time with the help his RunKeeper app.  The app features training programs to help owners meet goals; in this case, Steve has chosen to use the Run 10k Sub 55 training program.  He ran his 8k at a pace within the requested range at 6:18 per kilometer.

In other news, Steve was mostly a tired zombie today despite more than 7 hours sleep.  Tomorrow doesn’t look much better.

Van and gas gauge and stuff August 23, 2014

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Journal Entry for Aug 23, 2014

Lead story of the day I guess is Kaylee’s van.  We took it into Belle Tire only to be told that they couldn’t fix the gas guage there and that I should bring it into an electrical shop.  At least the oil got changed.  I’ll call Dearborn Auto Electric on Monday to find out if they need an appointment.  I’ll have the brakes checked there as well.

In other news, I decided to re-root my phone after all.  It went relatively simply and I deleted a whole bunch of default apps that were just taking up space.

Sleep and Friends August 21, 2014

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Journal Entry for Aug 21, 2014

My sleep did not go well last night.  Was restless most of the evening.  Trying again tonight, but it’s later than I wanted it to be.

It was nice running and building friendships with the people of the running club.

Only the Essentials… August 20, 2014

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Journal Entry for Aug 20, 2014

I’m reading a book called Essentialism by Greg McKeown.  I do have some issues with some of his concepts, but his idea of writing a journal entry everyday, and writing less than we want to, seems well grounded.  I have to capture the headline and look for the lead story in my day, week or life.

My lead story today is sleep.  McKeown points out all the studies emphasizing the importance of enough sleep.  This is motivating me to go to bed at 10:30 tonight.  This is an EXTREME change and will powerfully alter my relationships in Second Life and will require new thinking as to how I’m going to work on my book.  I consider this, though, to be essential, and I’m going to try it out until I determine if it works for me.

Techo / Electro music August 14, 2014

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Sometimes Techno and Electro music is cool.  But when you take a awesome and deeply meaningful song and make it Techno, it feels like somebody just took a crayon and scribbled it all over the Mona Lisa

The Temptation to Believe in a God August 14, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary, reflections.
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You know, sometimes, when a series of bad events happen in a sequence, there is a temptation to believe in a god, if for no other reason than to have an actual thing to blame.  In reality, I’m just living life on the bottom of the bell curve.  Someone has to be there, and I guess it’s my turn.

What are the odds that I would stupidly drive my car into a telephone pole less than a week after Kaylee totals her car, and to have all this happen within the same pay period where I finally decided to take out more credit to top off my emergency fund?  And what’s more, to have all of these things happen within just a little over two weeks of having a $750 charge to get my car properly repaired?  What were the odds against Francesca being arrested on a bogus charge a week after she was beaten by her boyfriend?  And what are the odds against having her iPhone stolen a week later?

And then to have Kaylee’s phone fail to charge and need to have a warranty  replacement, and to have my phone’s battery fail and almost get it replaced the same week?  And then to return the replacement phone and to STILL not have the refund for it?

And then to have to have Francesca move INTO the house because of mold in the sun room during the same time period where Kaylee might have to make a choice to continue to live in my home over her mother’s.

Shit piled on shit piled on shit.  It just never ends.

It would be nice to have a god to blame for all this shit.  But I still think that the probability of one existing is far, far lower than having a random sequence of shitty events happening after each other.

Still, it would be nice…just sayin’

~ Steve

Psychological Borderline August 9, 2014

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Blog entry for Sat. Aug 9, 2014

Okay, first of all, this is not about Borderline Personality Disorder.  It’s about the borderline between control and lack of control.  It’s about the borderline depression and wellness.  It’s about living on the cutting edge an emotional meltdown.

Why this is happening can probably be explained by my previous posts.  A: I have money worries again.  B: My daughter was just in a car accident that may have totaled her car.  C: This is just a kind of perpetual one – not enough sleep.

I’m not sure to what extent I’m living on the edge financially.  My cutting out of cable TV will help, but not until next month.  This month I’m trying to live as frugally as possible, and I’m not sure how well I’m doing.  Francesca keeps paying back pieces of her loan, which helps a lot.  My appetite is the thing that is causing me the most worry.

Well, not the most worry.  Will Kaylee’s car be totaled?  What will the insurance company give us for it?  How much more money will I have to throw at cars before she can drive again.  I’ve said long ago that I can’t keep spending money like this on emergencies.  The kid has an 18th birthday coming up this Wednesday.  I want her not to have to worry about the car on this magic day for her.

Lack of sleep, well, that comes down to willpower and and Second Life, one I don’t have enough of and one that dominates too large a portion of my life.

So I’m at the edge, and I don’t like it here.  I know that I need sleep more than anything else.  But there remains so much to do.

Alas and alack.  Woe is me and stuff.  I shall persevere, I guess.

~ Steve

Daughter in a car accident August 7, 2014

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Blog entry for Thu Aug 8, 2014

She’s fine.  A little bruising around the neck from the seat belt.

Car “might” be totaled.  :-\

And totaled or not, there’s going to be a deductible.  More money I don’t have.

Not much else to say tonight.

~ Steve

Whose in charge? August 7, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary, labeling, rants.
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Blog Entry for Wed, Aug 7, 2014

Whose versus Who’s.  Yes, I did that thing, up there in the title.  I used the wrong word.  Grammar Nazis take notice.  This is a declaration of war.

I no longer feel bound to the artificial chains in writing referred to as “correct grammar.”  Any language that declares both ‘live’ and ‘live’ to be different words does not deserve my respect.  (One is pronounced with a long I sound, like eye.  The other is pronounced with a short I sound, like in give.  Which is which?  Exactly!)

Yeah, I’m still going to use the correct grammar and spellings and stuff for the most part.  But all of those ridiculous rules?  Who the hell made up those rules, anyway?  Why do they get to say that something must only be written this way and not that way?  It’s entirely arbitrary, cemented in by busy-bodied-fuss-budgets more than a century ago.

We, humanity, are the creators of the words. The words are there to do OUR bidding. The words do not command us.

If I think I can better express an idea through the use of non-words, wrong words, or incorrect grammar, than I declare my right as human to do so.

I’ve been a Grammar Nazi myself from time to time, but no longer.  There, They’re, or Their?  I don’t like any of them.  Why not Thair (air as in air).  I’m not going to discriminate against someone because they didn’t have the proper education or because they have a harder time learning arbitrary-ness.  Did they communicate clearly enough for me to understand it?  Yes?  Then shut-up about your “thairs” and try to see if you can find a point in the post with the incorrect word meant.  Can you?  Cool.  Now don’t chide the person for using the wrong version of identically pronounced words.

Too tired to continue my rant.  Too bad, ‘cuase it’s a good one.

g’night,

~ Steve