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Freedom *May 28, 2008*

*Posted by Steve in Uncategorized.*

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We are all free within our limitations.

If I were a prisoner, shackled to a wall, my mind would still be free to do as it chose.

From 1984: “Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.” The protagonist was tortured into relinquishing even this freedom.

If I am chemically depressed or emotionally beaten, I might not be capable of seeing where my freedoms lie. That does not mean they don’t exist. They are there, waiting for us to find them and embrace them again, when and if we are ever capable of doing so.

“If the Führer wants it, two and two makes five!”

Wikipedia has a fascinating article about the origins and usage of this concept in literature and music, among other things:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_plus_two_make_five

Two plus two equals five for large values of two and small values of five.

Two plus two equals whatever the hell you want it to be if you are aggressively ignorant enough. 😉

Blue Fish.

In the animated television series The Fairly Oddparents, Episode 31 “Abra-Catastrophe!”, crazed teacher Mr. Crocker declared that if he had magical fairy godparents he would “make 2 + 2 = fish”. A later episode (Part 2 of Ep 63, “Remy Rides Again”) had Stephen Hawking saying to the same teacher that 2 + 2 = 5. At the end of the episode Mr. Crocker is shown saying that 2 + 2 = 6, not five.

Blue Fish.

In the animated television series The Fairly Oddparents, Episode 31 “Abra-Catastrophe!”, crazed teacher Mr. Crocker declared that if he had magical fairy godparents he would “make 2 + 2 = fish”. A later episode (Part 2 of Ep 63, “Remy Rides Again”) had Stephen Hawking saying to the same teacher that 2 + 2 = 5. At the end of the episode Mr. Crocker is shown saying that 2 + 2 = 6, not five.

Picard Rules!

This from the Wikipedia article: In an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, “Chain of Command,” Captain Picard of the Starship Enterprise is tortured by a Cardassian in a manner similar to a torture scene from Ninteen Eighty-Four. During the episode the Cardassian officer tries to coerce Picard to admit seeing five lights when in fact there were only four. Picard valiantly sticks to reality. Near the end when Picard is about to be brought back to his crew, he defiantly declares, once again, “There are FOUR LIGHTS!!!”. However, later in a counseling session with Deanna Troi, Picard admits that he believed he could see five lights at the end. This admission is reminiscent of a scene in Nineteen Eighty-Four when the protagonist Winston Smith is electroshocked into declaring that he saw five fingers when in fact he only saw four (“Four! Five! Six! I don’t know!”).

Aren’t you sorry you started writing in your blog again? I’m going to spam the living daylights out of you!

Princess Ivory

Aren’t you sorry you started writing in your blog again? I’m going to spam the living daylights out of you!

Princess Ivory

2 what plus 2 what? 2 dozen + 2 dozen = 48

2X + 2X = 4X, unless one of the Xs hates one of the other Xs, in which case you get 4X -1X. If the other X leaves in solidarity on the first X’s behalf, then you get 4X-1X-1X = 2X. Now if 2X gets depressed over and decides to invite some friends over (quantity = Y), then you get 2X + 2X = 4X – 2X + YX. The quantity Y is indeterminable, based on availability, state of sobriety, and their attraction to – 2X. This, of course, results in an irrational number. (let’s use the square root of negative 1, or i).

Oh, and let Z = the number of eggs broken out of the dozen…

So, by reducing and simplifying, we get 2(X/(X-Z)) + 2(X/(X-Z)) = 4(X/(X-Z)) -2X + iYX

Make sense?

You left out one of the factors that determine the value of Y. Is your hooch any good? And how much have you got? If it’s a keg, immediately add 42 (the number of guys in the nearby college fraternity) to Y. But then you will have to subtract at least 20 from Y, as the more attractive girls get tired of barf and fart jokes, and leave your party in droves for one down the street instead. You, however, have passed out on the bathroom floor by now, and have no knowledge of this. Subtract 1X.

You’re right Princess, but you forgot to factor in the time factor (t) of exactly when I passed out, and whether or not I actually remembered calling the frat boys in the first place. If I carry no memory then the question becomes, does Y even exist? Now the math is getting way too complex for me. We are starting to get into calculus, probability and statistics, chaos theory, and quantum physics. Perhaps we should invite Stephen Hawking in to ponder this with us?

“Perhaps we should invite Stephen Hawking in to ponder this with us?”

Do you think he likes Corona Light?

If a frat boy barfs in the bathroom, and all the other frat boys are already passed out and do not hear or see him, did the frat boy really barf? For that matter, is there a frat boy there at all?

If a frat boy barfs in the bathroom, and all the other frat boys are already passed out and do not hear or see him, did the frat boy really barf? For that matter, is there a frat boy there at all?