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Exciting Freaking Shit!!! May 19, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.

I washed clothes!!!

I trimmed the frackin’ rose bush!!!!

I ran for 71 minutes!!!

I cleaned-ish the bedroom!!!

It was nice having a day off of work, and it was doubly nice that I actually got some stuff done around the house.  In addition to the above, I now have clean sheets on the bed and clean dishes in the cupboards.  The house still has a long way to go.  The bedroom is better but it’s filled with old computers and wires and stuff.  It’s the computer geeks equivalent of having a bunch of junk cars on the lawn.  The living room is also not really fit for living in at the moment.

It’s hard to wax philosophical after a day such as this.  Purple prose posing potential profit prays powerless in my perception.  The creative juices have dried and are flaking off.  Sleep sounds good, but my mind is too active at the moment to even dream of dreaming.

I followed my diet scrupulously today.  I have hopes that eventually the extra 20 pounds I gained over the winter will begin falling off.  The thing that could hamper my diet is the same thing that put those pounds on in the first place: depression and attempting to bury my woes under tons of food.  Even though I feel well enough now, I know that I’ve been particularly prone to horrid moods for the last several months.  It’s hard to get too enthused about having a good day when I know with certainty that I will once again be wallowing in the dumps; it’s only a matter of when.

I think I’m doing everything right.  I take my happy pills regularly, get in enough exercise, eat well (when I’m not slumping), meditate, and try to keep a positive frame of mind.  Lately it seems that it’s taking less and less to knock me off track.  One little party at work or one especially tempting menu item and poof I lose it again.

Meh.  When I blogged before I kept my mood blogs in a separate location.  Having only one blog at the moment this is kinda the place where everything would go.  My philosophy before that I didn’t want to talk about my mood because it could just lead to negative reinforcement.  There is probably some truth to that, but I don’t want to pretend that my bad moods don’t exist, either.  Not sure how I’m going to work that one out.

Peace and stuff to all

~ Steve



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