jump to navigation

Getting back on track August 25, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.
add a comment

Journal Entry for Aug 25, 2014

Today’s lead story is my pulling my act together again.  I’ve started keeping things neat and following my to-do list.  This has caused my moods to jump back to the top.  Getting enough sleep is always helpful. I got about 7 hours last night but the Sleep Cycle app says it was very poor quality.  Hmmph.  I still feel sharper today than I have in the last week or so.

Sent a reply to Camilla’s letter from the psych ward.  I referred her to NAMI.  I hope it helps.

~ Steve


Beating 55 minutes August 24, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.
add a comment

Journal Entry for Aug 24, 2014

Lead Story: For the second consecutive day, Steve ran more than 5 kilometers.  In addition to the 10k Steve ran yesterday, he added a much faster 8k today, this time with the help his RunKeeper app.  The app features training programs to help owners meet goals; in this case, Steve has chosen to use the Run 10k Sub 55 training program.  He ran his 8k at a pace within the requested range at 6:18 per kilometer.

In other news, Steve was mostly a tired zombie today despite more than 7 hours sleep.  Tomorrow doesn’t look much better.

Van and gas gauge and stuff August 23, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.
add a comment

Journal Entry for Aug 23, 2014

Lead story of the day I guess is Kaylee’s van.  We took it into Belle Tire only to be told that they couldn’t fix the gas guage there and that I should bring it into an electrical shop.  At least the oil got changed.  I’ll call Dearborn Auto Electric on Monday to find out if they need an appointment.  I’ll have the brakes checked there as well.

In other news, I decided to re-root my phone after all.  It went relatively simply and I deleted a whole bunch of default apps that were just taking up space.

Only the Essentials… August 20, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.
add a comment

Journal Entry for Aug 20, 2014

I’m reading a book called Essentialism by Greg McKeown.  I do have some issues with some of his concepts, but his idea of writing a journal entry everyday, and writing less than we want to, seems well grounded.  I have to capture the headline and look for the lead story in my day, week or life.

My lead story today is sleep.  McKeown points out all the studies emphasizing the importance of enough sleep.  This is motivating me to go to bed at 10:30 tonight.  This is an EXTREME change and will powerfully alter my relationships in Second Life and will require new thinking as to how I’m going to work on my book.  I consider this, though, to be essential, and I’m going to try it out until I determine if it works for me.

Techo / Electro music August 14, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.
add a comment

Sometimes Techno and Electro music is cool.  But when you take a awesome and deeply meaningful song and make it Techno, it feels like somebody just took a crayon and scribbled it all over the Mona Lisa

The Temptation to Believe in a God August 14, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary, reflections.
add a comment

You know, sometimes, when a series of bad events happen in a sequence, there is a temptation to believe in a god, if for no other reason than to have an actual thing to blame.  In reality, I’m just living life on the bottom of the bell curve.  Someone has to be there, and I guess it’s my turn.

What are the odds that I would stupidly drive my car into a telephone pole less than a week after Kaylee totals her car, and to have all this happen within the same pay period where I finally decided to take out more credit to top off my emergency fund?  And what’s more, to have all of these things happen within just a little over two weeks of having a $750 charge to get my car properly repaired?  What were the odds against Francesca being arrested on a bogus charge a week after she was beaten by her boyfriend?  And what are the odds against having her iPhone stolen a week later?

And then to have Kaylee’s phone fail to charge and need to have a warranty  replacement, and to have my phone’s battery fail and almost get it replaced the same week?  And then to return the replacement phone and to STILL not have the refund for it?

And then to have to have Francesca move INTO the house because of mold in the sun room during the same time period where Kaylee might have to make a choice to continue to live in my home over her mother’s.

Shit piled on shit piled on shit.  It just never ends.

It would be nice to have a god to blame for all this shit.  But I still think that the probability of one existing is far, far lower than having a random sequence of shitty events happening after each other.

Still, it would be nice…just sayin’

~ Steve

Psychological Borderline August 9, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.
add a comment

Blog entry for Sat. Aug 9, 2014

Okay, first of all, this is not about Borderline Personality Disorder.  It’s about the borderline between control and lack of control.  It’s about the borderline depression and wellness.  It’s about living on the cutting edge an emotional meltdown.

Why this is happening can probably be explained by my previous posts.  A: I have money worries again.  B: My daughter was just in a car accident that may have totaled her car.  C: This is just a kind of perpetual one – not enough sleep.

I’m not sure to what extent I’m living on the edge financially.  My cutting out of cable TV will help, but not until next month.  This month I’m trying to live as frugally as possible, and I’m not sure how well I’m doing.  Francesca keeps paying back pieces of her loan, which helps a lot.  My appetite is the thing that is causing me the most worry.

Well, not the most worry.  Will Kaylee’s car be totaled?  What will the insurance company give us for it?  How much more money will I have to throw at cars before she can drive again.  I’ve said long ago that I can’t keep spending money like this on emergencies.  The kid has an 18th birthday coming up this Wednesday.  I want her not to have to worry about the car on this magic day for her.

Lack of sleep, well, that comes down to willpower and and Second Life, one I don’t have enough of and one that dominates too large a portion of my life.

So I’m at the edge, and I don’t like it here.  I know that I need sleep more than anything else.  But there remains so much to do.

Alas and alack.  Woe is me and stuff.  I shall persevere, I guess.

~ Steve

Whose in charge? August 7, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary, labeling, rants.
add a comment

Blog Entry for Wed, Aug 7, 2014

Whose versus Who’s.  Yes, I did that thing, up there in the title.  I used the wrong word.  Grammar Nazis take notice.  This is a declaration of war.

I no longer feel bound to the artificial chains in writing referred to as “correct grammar.”  Any language that declares both ‘live’ and ‘live’ to be different words does not deserve my respect.  (One is pronounced with a long I sound, like eye.  The other is pronounced with a short I sound, like in give.  Which is which?  Exactly!)

Yeah, I’m still going to use the correct grammar and spellings and stuff for the most part.  But all of those ridiculous rules?  Who the hell made up those rules, anyway?  Why do they get to say that something must only be written this way and not that way?  It’s entirely arbitrary, cemented in by busy-bodied-fuss-budgets more than a century ago.

We, humanity, are the creators of the words. The words are there to do OUR bidding. The words do not command us.

If I think I can better express an idea through the use of non-words, wrong words, or incorrect grammar, than I declare my right as human to do so.

I’ve been a Grammar Nazi myself from time to time, but no longer.  There, They’re, or Their?  I don’t like any of them.  Why not Thair (air as in air).  I’m not going to discriminate against someone because they didn’t have the proper education or because they have a harder time learning arbitrary-ness.  Did they communicate clearly enough for me to understand it?  Yes?  Then shut-up about your “thairs” and try to see if you can find a point in the post with the incorrect word meant.  Can you?  Cool.  Now don’t chide the person for using the wrong version of identically pronounced words.

Too tired to continue my rant.  Too bad, ‘cuase it’s a good one.


~ Steve

Blogs versus Journals August 5, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary, random, reflections.
add a comment

Blog Entry for Aug 5, 2014

The difference between a blog and a journal…well, ONE of the differences between a blog and a journal, for there are many…is that a Blog can be written at any time of day about whatever the fuck I want.  A journal has to wait for the end of a day, because it tries to accurately track what happened during the day, and all the happened aren’t finished until the day is finished.

Another difference is that blogs can be interesting whereas journals tracking life events can be as boring as hell.

Because, let’s face it.  My librarian life, while no doubt coveted by almost all of the world population, is not the deep thinking and interesting event things from which an interesting journal can be built.  With a blog, I can still talk about my life, but I don’t freakin’ have to.  The awesome potential therefore is much higher.

As for daily life, because I feel like talking about it, I’m going out for heavy drinking tonight with Bob, Laura, and Betsy.  It promises to be fun, but as I’m reading “how not to be boring” books and articles, I have hopes that I may be a touch more interesting and a hair more in the direction of being a sparkling conversationalist.  These skills will certainly be needed after I publish my book and become world renowned and will be capable of crushing the world under my thumb if I want to.  (I won’t want to, so my followers may rest assured about that.)

Reading the books, if nothing else, keeps my mind engaged at all kinds of possibilities of the exciting life I will one day lead.

But enough for that.  On to more self-perfecting.  Tootles and Oodles of Noodles.

~ Steve

New Random Drivel August 4, 2014

Posted by Steve in diary.
add a comment

Journal Entry for Mon, Aug 4, 2014 (maybe)

I don’t know where I want to go with this post.  I do know that just posting about what happens to me from day to day is boring as hell.  I don’t like it, and it’s not likely that anyone else would like it either.  More importantly, it’s not doing the thing it’s supposed to do for me, which is to help me remember the good things without dwelling on the bad.  For me, creative, FREE writing IS a good thing.  When I do that, I’m doing my one good thing for the day.

So anyway, I’m writing this book, right?  And I’m thinking about my main characters.  The problem is I have so many ideas that I’m trying to bring them all into this work.  I have the Goddess, who I’d have to work into the story and I seem to be doing that in my head whether it’s a good idea or not.  I mean, I have the psychologist being the goddess, the Goddess being the goddess, and now I’m thinking of making freakin’ Charlene into the Goddess.  Making Charlene the goddess would give me the opportunity to use some of Hestia speak in the novel, but on the other hand Charlene is pretty decent the way she was.  She doesn’t really NEED Hestia speak.  So, what the hell.  You know?

Not sure what I’m going to do.  Even as I sit here writing about why that would be a bad idea, my brain is still churning out ways to make it possible.  You know, if I would just sit and WRITE the damned thing already, I wouldn’t be having these problems.

Anyway, that’s enough for tonight.  Lots of other stuff to fall less behind in.